Lost and Found: Sometimes

I don’t talk about myself in a deeply personal way online any more.
 
Honestly, outside of my mum, and sister I don’t discuss myself personally at all. I doubt that anyone has noticed the change. 
 
Because I don’t discuss things in public that are deeply personal doesn’t mean I don’t suffer. I have made it pretty well known I have PTSD. I talk about my OCD. What I never talk about are the other side diagnosis.
You know that I go to work everyday, and that I have a small business that I work on. You don’t see the quiet that happens when I am in my own head. The disappoint, the lack of support. The simple fact that sometimes, I am just out of sorts.
I try not to be wrapped up in my own world and my own problems.
 
Like anything else. I have discovered that while, my perspective may be valuable to someone, there is often so much shouting that I don’t feel it necessary to discuss certain things in a public setting. 
 
This isn’t about asking for help (I have resources), this is about human contact. Phone numbers are good. But reaching out is best. I do that a lot. I send pet pictures, book news, cutesy gifs and photos.
 
When you think about, and if you have read this far, what do you really know about me, or any one else? I try to get to know people. It was a New Year’s goal I set a few years ago. I am crippling shy when not at work. It’s almost ridiculous to describe my level of shyness. 
 
I am sure most people that have access to my Facebook and Twitter know I have pets, a nephew, and I am close to my mum and sister. Some of you know I have no grandparents left.

You know I love literary news and space news.

You probably don’t know that I try to keep authors and readers informed on the literary industry at large.
 
I watch people entirely miss the point of things I ask, followed by unabashed judgement.  I watch people exercise their privilege and it breaks me a little. What you probably don’t notice, is that when that happens, I retreat. 
On one side I see people proclaiming allyship, and on the other side, I am being told to shut up and color.
Listening is key.
I listen.
I listen a lot. 
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